This is a business problem, not a personality one
There is someone at your job you cannot stand. You still have to produce results with them.
That costs you. Slower decisions, avoided conversations, work that routes around a person instead of through them. It shows up in your output whether or not it shows up in your feelings.
You already have the data
Most people delete the messages from the person they are avoiding. That is backwards.
Every snarky email and every clipped text is evidence of how that person operates. Under pressure. When they want something. When they feel ignored. You have been collecting a behavioral record without reading it as one.
The method
1. Keep everything
Every text message. Every email. Do not curate for the worst ones. The ordinary exchanges carry the pattern.
2. Put it in one folder
One project in Claude, everything in it. The value comes from volume in one place, not from any single message.
3. Ask for the read
Ask it to analyze the person and act as a therapist would. What drives them. What they respond to. What sets them off. You are looking for a working model, not a verdict.
4. Turn it on yourself
This is the half most people skip. Say that you need a positive, forward-moving working relationship with this person, and ask what you need to do differently.
5. Keep feeding it
New messages go in the same folder. The read gets sharper as the record grows.
Why the second half matters
If you stop at the psychological breakdown, you have built a case file. That changes nothing.
The output worth having is a list of changes to your own behavior. How you open the message. What you stop reacting to. Where you give ground that costs you nothing and buys cooperation.
You cannot direct their behavior. You can direct yours, and theirs often follows.
What this does not mean
It does not mean AI diagnoses people. It reads patterns in text and gives you a working model. That is useful and it is not clinical.
It also does not fix genuine mistreatment. Some situations are an HR matter or an exit, not a communication problem. This method is for the far more common case: a capable person you find difficult, whose cooperation you need.
The decision
Stop deleting those messages. Start a folder this week. Then ask the question about yourself, not only about them.
Sources
- Jeff Fargo, Fargo Factor Insight: How to Challenge AI Output Before You Trust It
- Jeff Fargo, Fargo Factor Insight: How to Make ChatGPT Emails Sound Like You
Transcript
Verbatim from the Fargo Walks clip, as recorded.
If you work with somebody and you can't stand them, I have the mother of all cheat codes for you. You want to keep every single text message, every single email you get from them. You put it into, let's say, Claude, into a folder, and you say to Claude: Claude, I want you to analyze a person's name and act as a therapist. Give me a complete psychological breakdown of this person. And then you say, I have to work with this person, I want to have a positive forward-moving relationship with this person, so what do I need to do. I'll give you great instructions. Then whenever that person sends you a snarky email or text message, you throw it in that folder and say, hey, give me a nice reply to positively keep moving stuff forward. Your life will become blissful. Go forth.
Jeff Fargo is the founder of Fargo Factor and host of Fargo Talks. Fargo Factor advises established businesses on AI Search Authority, AI Decision Systems, and selective AI-enabled implementation.
WHEN THE DECISION MATTERS
Think it through before you send it.
Fargo Factor helps established businesses build judgment into how they use AI, so the hard conversation gets rehearsed instead of fired off.
